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Locked Down at homes, Instagram Influencers Are Slowly Going Insane: See How

What happens when influencers themselves get stuck at homes

Naomi Davis is an influencer with nearly half a million Instagram followers. Here she is striking a perfectly natural pose that every mother of five can relate to.

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Nothing to see here, just a Mama hiding out in her bathroom trying to get some work done and sneaking in a little self care while she's at it (but really, a couple of candles lit in some personal space w/ the door locked was everything I didn't know I needed during the past two weeks that have felt 17 years long.)⁣ ⁣ I have been inspired through and through by the way parents everywhere are making sure life carries on calmly for their kids at home right now, with so many wonderful and informative posts shared on social from craft projects to healthy at-home snacks and meals when we're spending so much time inside together.⁣ ⁣ With parents being so intentional and trying their best, I'm confident the kids will be alright. But how are YOU doing? The events of the world, and my city being hit so hard, have been so much harder for me to take than I could have ever anticipated. Sleep isn't happening, panic is constant and tears happen a lot. I just want you to know that taking a few minutes for yourself – to try to find your calm – is important.  An epsom salt bath (with candles!?!), some yoga or a workout class streamed from the internet by a sunlit window, baking something special each day, video-chatting with friends and making plans for a future date when we all can hug and hold each other again, drinking the water and taking the vitamins and breathing in and out, deeply. Stretching, dancing (even by yourself! Especially by yourself!), and screaming if necessary into a pillow or outside your window or with the entire family around the dinner table just for kicks. You have to prioritize yourself right now, too. Please don't forget it. ⁣ ⁣ A few of my internet Mama friends @lauraiz, @laurenkaysims, @meghankedmonds and @chrisellelim are sharing some great suggestions on their feeds right now as well when it comes to home essentials for themselves and their kids, so go take a look at what they have put together. And please share in the comments a way you've been treating yourself at home, and any suggestions for the rest of us ladies, too! Sending my love from my make-shift-office/private space/pretend-backyard-that-is-really-just-a-bathtub!

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Davis recently crammed her family into an RV and left New York City, despite the CDC asking New Yorkers to refrain from non-essential travel and the federal government telling city residents to go into self-isolation. After considerable backlash, Davis issued a “Sorry if this bothered you, but we did it anyway” non-apology, although she at least had the restraint to not turn her road trip into a twee photo shoot.

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***PLEASE LOOK FOR MY UPDATE IN MY COMMENT BELOW.💛*** If you zoom into this photo in front of that big old white thing (which is the top of an RV Camper), you’ll see our family of seven as little dots just a few moments before driving out of New York City yesterday (Friday). My heart is breaking for what is happening in New York where I live and around the world right now. And after two full weeks in the apartment, we made the family decision to drive out west so we can have a little more space (namely some outdoor space for the kids) for a little while. While we’ve been diligent about self-quarantining and social distancing in New York City, we want to make sure we still stay away from others during our trip (even though no one in our family has had any symptoms, you could always be asymptomatic). For this reason, we decided to rent an RV in order to avoid hotels and people and just eat and sleep in the RV on the way. Hopefully a little change of apartment scenery will be just what we need – for everyone’s physical health, for my headspace which is spiraling lately – and for our kids’ own mental health. This situation is serious everywhere and I am sending my love and prayers to you wherever you are. More on my stories. 💛 (and photo from our friends who caught us packing up on the street outside an apartment window and texted us! Thank you so much for this photo, Weinbergs!)

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But while Davis’ #toopopularforpublichealth saga was eye-catching, she’s far from the only influencer to have an uninspiring reaction to the COVID-19 pandemic. Concern in the industry is understandable; if you’re a travel influencer who can’t travel, your source of income has been decapitated. But an influencer’s job is to provide lifestyle porn. Followers know the lives lived on Instagram don’t really exist, but it can be fun to pretend otherwise by watching creators’ exploits, buying their products, and hoping that maybe one day you’ll be awkwardly groping your partner in an outdoor bathtub for the sake of your brand. What happens when no one can even pretend that these lifestyles are possible? Or when it becomes obvious how empty that fantasy is?

Sure, America’s unemployment rate might hit 32%, and 40% of Americans can’t handle an unexpected expense at the best of times, but what some influencers think you really need right now is some overpriced snug underwear so you can #stayhome in comfort and style. (Delivery drivers will understand that your cat really needs to appreciate the shape of your cock.) But hey, at least that guy’s not claiming that his dick baskets have magical anti-COVID powers. As spotted by Buzzfeed’s Stephanie McNeal, influencer and “biohacker” Ingrid De La Mare-Kenny went skiing while saying she spoke to a Monacan health official who offered this totally real quote: “Right now the elders, children & those with immune diseases should worry, but we have Simply Inulin in our systems working to fuel our immune system we are ok.” Simply Inulin is the 27 Euro fiber powder she sells. It’s part of her, Jesus Christ, Gangster Chic brand.

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This was posted before the pandemic took over the world on March 8. I am a resident of Monaco and France where the governments declared a public health emergency on March 22. I am editing this post today April 9 because online press has been trying to become relevant again by slamming influencers in the health space for claiming supplements can cure covid 19. I don’t blame them… I don’t like influencers they sell shit they are paid to sell and have no qualifications to guaranty as effective whether for health weight loss or anything else. My answer Is FACTS: Im not an influencer, I’m a LICENSED health professional. I have not changed my narrative In the wake of covid19. I’ve always recommended eating real food and focusing on gut health as a way of reaching overall health. This claim is supported by medical authorities and medical journals such as JOHN HOPKINS MEDICAL , PUBMED, @drstevengundry and many OTHER RELIABLE MEDICAL SOURCES that have linked gut health with the immune system. The very same authorities that have recognized Inulin FOS as the ultimate gut health natural remedy. Can tending to gut health and thus boosting the immune system prevent covid19 or cure it, NO. Did I ever pretend it could on March 8th or after: NO. Can attempting to boost our immune system thru a healthy gut hurt? Certainly not ! while W.H.O keeps changing its mind about whether masks can repel the virus, and doctors are either believing in treating covid with tons of prescription Vitamin C or disagreeing, one thing is for sure, my narrative won’t change in order to prevent media from taking my words out of context: eat real food, have Inulin in naturally occurring foods like garlic, beets, onion etc. And in its pure powder form simply Inulin medically proven to benefit the gut. I will repost my original post once it is loud and clear that shall my words be taken out of context i will pursue legal action. And for fuck’s sake I don’t have sponsors,affiliates or collabs. I’m not an influencer I’m a licensed professional. Consider yourself warned. To my tribe I’m humbled by the trust you instill in me & honored to support you during this unprecedented time

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Two weeks later she was quarantined because raisin bran could no longer guarantee her safety. But don’t worry, she was still getting dressed up to dramatically document her grocery store outing. The influencer economy is cutthroat, and you only survive it by being the center of attention at all times and at all costs. What do you do when you suddenly face the same limitations as your followers? You invent little lies that center you. “I thanked the cashier for being the warrior that she is by coming to work, she thanked me for appreciating her.” Yeah, sure. That’s what happened.

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FOOD SHOPPING 🛒 🥬🥝🧄🍎🍐during COVID-19 was supposed to get weird… I brought my disposable gloves, I wore a scarf in case someone got too close to breathing on me and I dreaded seeing shoppers panick stricken deer in headlight looks on their faces. Walking in, I almost felt like an outlaw and like I wasn’t supposed to be there. A bit of a knot in my stomach, and repeating to myself “I should not buy toilet paper I’ll order it online if we need it” … I walked into our neighborhood supermarket to a welcoming security guard, I put my gloves on, and waltzed thru the fully stocked aisles, I headed first to the fresh produce, and seeing the sense of calm around me, I reset my mood and started to shop for food the way I usually would. Somehow I noticed I made more eye contact with strangers than ever, I waited with distance for my turn, no one pushed or shoved me like they usually would to get thru, it’s like all of the sudden everyone has time … and nowhere else to be. I had been letting Gil do the food shopping for me since the quarantine started 10 days ago, because I didn’t want this CORONA MADNESS to ruin my relationship with the whole process of cooking including food shopping. It didn’t, it was great … it was my first time out In the world in the past 10 days (I usually go to the office and back home without stops) ! The knot in my stomach vanished, I thanked the cashier for being the warrior that she is by coming to work, she thanked me for appreciating her… and with that, I brought my haul home ready to cook a full-fledged Moroccan dinner for Gil’s birthday tomorrow. Including my Moroccan Matbucha dish of cooked tomatoes and roasted bell peppers seasoned with garlic and chili pepper. The name of the dish originates from Arabic and means "cooked" in Arabic. It is served as an appetizer, often as part of a meze table, my meat cigars with harissa and Moroccan spices, my cumin seasoned beet root salad and other mezze called Briouats. For me, loving my family , showing my loves everything is ok and celebrating their life milestones often happens in my kitchen. I never thought going to the supermarket would be the highlight of my day😱🥬

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When “Influencer Who Participated in Toilet Licking Challenge Says He Tested Positive for Coronavirus” is a real headline, it becomes apparent that depriving influencers of attention is like locking someone in a room without oxygen. But, right now, most of them aren’t actually doing anything. They’re not making funny TikTok videos, or organizing charitable efforts, or helping their friends not go insane from worry and financial stress. Even Gal Gadot and the Please Pay Attention To Us Celebrity Revue warbling out a literally and figuratively tone-deaf rendition of “Imagine” took a modicum of misguided creativity. Influencers are just stuck saying “We still exist, you can still buy our overpriced shit, here is someone else’s quote about staying optimistic.”

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Cacio e pepe today 🍝

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This can be darkly funny — some influencers are showing off every mundane photo that wasn’t good enough for consumption a few months ago — but it can also be borderline sociopathic. Here’s Julie Sarinana talking about how simple things like board games, reading, and exercise are keeping her sane, then pushing her $90 sweaters as equally essential for these tough times. And who among us doesn’t like to ruminate on the challenges faced by separated couples while showing off what we look like without pants?

Influencers have to stay relentlessly positive in the face of an issue that warrants reasonable concern, they have to keep the world’s focus on themselves in the middle of a story with a global scope, and they have to make their lives look as glamorous as possible while stuck at home like the rest of us. That’s how you get feeds like Marissa Casey Grossman’s who, in-between reposting someone else’s cartoon about “sending love to people without a stable income,” is talking about the relatable problem of not being able to lounge around on Miami yachts and Italian beaches. Reposting old vacation photos is, we’re told, a form of therapy, because “This is the only vibe I want on my feed right now…. take me back to Ravello, Italy!!!! Need this coronavirus situation, stock market situation, oil situation…. and all this negativity to end. It is absolutely CONSUMING me — and bringing me to a state of constant worrying.” If only the virus and the economy would acknowledge their negative vibes. Italians, incidentally, are also worrying a little bit right now, but at least she’s “sending love.”

If Grossman’s name sounds familiar in the same way that European villagers once shuddered at the mention of Dracula, in 2019 the former Goop ghoul both worked a swimsuit advertisement into her tribute to dead family members and carefully shopped her boyfriend’s “spontaneous” marriage proposal to brands as a marketing stunt. With “It’s Wine And Making Italy’s 12,500 Deaths All About Me O’clock Somewhere,” Grossman is exploring how far you can push your personal brand while removing all human personality from it. It’s one thing to provide a break from COVID news — we all need that — but to refocus the news on you makes you look like you’d post from your mother’s deathbed if you could work in a discount code for a bespoke urn.

If there’s one positive in watching the business of social media merge with capitalist indifference to human suffering like Jeff Goldblum and that housefly, it’s that some influencers see an opportunity for improvement. In The Verge, influencer Elizabeth Savetsky talked about how being stuck at home is forcing her to get creative and talk more about who she is as an actual person, and her Instagram feed is certainly more thoughtful than updates on the “GANGSTER CHIC TRIBE.” Maybe that will be a positive change going forward… or maybe a year from now we’ll be getting a flood of posts that read, “The Glargax invasion of Earth has made it tough to stay upbeat, but I can’t wait to hit the beach again once Los Angeles is rebuilt. Quick shoutout to our troops, and remember to be a trooper yourself by picking up my death-ray-repelling sunglasses!”

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